This poem stopped me in my tracks.
It echoes the wishes I hear in my office day in and day out so eloquently.
Many of us wish we could let go of something, to lighten our load, make space in our schedules, and have a second (dare I say a minute? or even an hour?!) to breathe.
Are you having trouble letting go?
Letting go can look different for each of us… perhaps for you, it means letting go of:
fear | indecision | the need to please | compliments | doing it all
outside affirmation | being crazy busy | your inner critic | comparison
the inevitable shame spiral | perfection | numbing | the what-ifs
resentment | blame | hustling for your worth | scarcity | always-knowing
cynicism | going one-up to everyone else | clinging to looking cool | exaggerating
Letting go is hard.
I tried for years to let go…and always found myself back where I started: overwhelmed, over-extended, and stressed beyond belief. I was yelling at my kids, unable to be present with my friends and family, and was in pain all the time. My body was demanding I let something go, and yet I couldn’t. For me, simply telling myself I was going to “let go” didn’t work. Researching how women “do it all” only left me feeling more discouraged. Scheduling time for “self-care” on my calendar felt like one more task that I couldn’t let myself enjoy.
The truth is, there is a lot behind what keeps us from letting go. Our histories, traumas, heartbreaks, insecurities, and future fears all keep us stuck in struggle.
The good news is that there are ways to make it easier.
Finally, I took the plunge and became certified in Brené Brown’s work on shame, courage, and vulnerability (hint: shame and vulnerability are likely big pieces of why you can’t let go)… and everything changed.
To become certified in her work, I had to do the work. Just like a used car salesman can’t sell you a car that he hasn’t driven, I can’t lead people through this journey of letting go without having gone through it myself. It was the best decision I’ve made, both personally and professionally.
While letting go will probably never be automatic to me, Brené Brown’s work taught me how to jumpstart the process in a way that makes me a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, neighbor, friend, and therapist. In other words, her shame resilience theory taught me how to Rise Strong. And you can learn it too.
If you’re ready to learn to let go, consider signing up for an upcoming Rising Strong workshop. If you have questions or doubts, email me at hello@kindred-counseling.com.
